THE WITNESS QUARRY DOOR MOVIE

I guess they realized that no one bought for a second that that was any less pointless than tracking their number of nostrils.

There have been some gameplay refinements the game no longer tracks each character's stats.

THE WITNESS QUARRY DOOR MOVIE

The plot starts with Jock Dude deliberately sabotaging everyone's ride home so he can have another stab at getting his leg over Sexy Girl, and then, of course, everyone decides to have a noisy party, 'cos they're teenagers in a slasher movie and only possess three impulses: throw a noisy party, strip down to their underpants, or stand around gormlessly in front of a thing to which they can be easily nailed.īut let's leave my other story complaints for after the spoiler warning. So I hated them for how they looked and what they said, then they hit the triple by making me hate them for what they did, as well. WHOA! Hold the phone the buff jock dude's wearing a backwards baseball cap! He wins he did it in zero! Okay, I hated you after six words of dialogue let's see who can beat that. Basically, every two-way dialogue choice comes down to 'be a complete prick' or 'be a partial prick', and even exclusively taking the second option, it still felt like everyone was trying to break the lonesomeness speed record. 'Why are you always so upbeat?' 'Why are you always cracking jokes?' Those were jokes, were they? Fucking news to me I couldn't decipher them through your private language of arrogant snorts and constant needlessly abrasive digs at each other. There's something very wrong with everyone's mouths and teeth, like they've been enlarged in post-production or something the stock sexy girl character, in particular, looks like she's trying to talk through a bagel that's been hot-glued to her face.īut the dialogue makes me hate them all, too everyone's got a bad case of verbally explaining their personalities to each other. A lot of that comes from the animation there's still an awkwardness about the motion capture faces, because, of course, 'haunted quarry' is a synonym for 'uncanny valley'. They should take a side-gig making war propaganda if they made one of these games starring a bunch of Russian military officers, I'd join the Ukrainian defense force before you can say ' Pierre Kirillovich Bezukhov'. I'll say this for Supermassive Games: they are world-class experts at creating entire casts of characters that I instantly and completely despise. Only difference is, it's set in a summer camp, and that just means it took a break from copy-pasting Until Dawn to copy-paste Friday the 13th instead. I found The Dark Pricktease Endoscopy to be one complete waste of time after another, so now, perhaps understandably, Supermassive have gone back to what worked and made Until Dawn 2: This Time, It's In a Haunted Quarry, 'cos it's pretty much the same fucking plot: bunch of teenagers played by out-of-work 27-year-olds come to party in an isolated house, there's an excruciatingly long setup period, and then monsters in the woods start picking them off. I remember vaguely enjoying Until Dawn I mean, for all that branching-path storytelling is supposed to offer, it had all the replay value of a traumatic leg amputation, but the over-the-top horror and the terribleness of the characters lent it a certain slasher B-movie charm. Admittedly, with a combined screen-time of about half an hour, but I suppose, after the developers cornered them at a convention, they only had a limited amount of time before the bodyguards broke down the toilet door. Their new game, The Quarry, is their most ambitious choose-your-own-adventure book yet there's a whole three recognizable celebrities in it. Oh boy, another game from Supermassive 'The Eternal Counterpoint to the Aphorism 'Practice Makes Perfect'' Games! Between Until Dawn and The Dark Pictures Anthology, Supermassive have made great strides in the medium of choose-your-own-adventure books, through the bold, innovative technique of including the motion-captured faces of the least expensive celebrities to ever set up a cameo account.

This week in Zero Punctuation, Yahtzee reviews The Quarry.

The witness quarry door